change,  create your life

Going your own way – my own journey

Two  weeks ago I shared that I want to change my art: Shifting from drawing what I felt like to making art that encourages others to go their own way in life. Art which inspires people to think about what is important to them, what dreams they have, what kind of life they would like to live.

Why this topic?

Living a self-determined life is something that is very important to me personally. And I want to share my story here. This topic entered my life in 2016 when I experienced a moment of deep shock when I suddenly realised that the job I was in actually wasn’t meant for me. I quickly pushed that thought away but it kept coming back again and again. At one point I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

And don’t get me wrong here. That job was not bad! An interesting branch, divers tasks – but I had to face the truth that me and that job were no great fit. Thinking about it now I realise that already in university (I studied environmental management and sustainable international agriculture) I several times had thoughts like ‘I don’t see myself working in that field’ or ‘I am no environmental engineer / agriculturist / scientist’.  I pressured myself and tried hard to bent so that I would fit in. It seemed to be meaningful working in sustainable agriculture – and it surely is! But it did not work for me.

So I knew I needed to get a new job. But I also knew that just changing jobs and staying in the same industry wouldn’t get me anywhere. How I knew this I don’t know. But I knew. I felt it with every inch of my body. A significant change was needed! But I had no clue what to do. What I even wanted to do. I had spent eight years in apprenticeship and university to get where I was only to find out that it’s not what I wanted to do. I was desperate.

It felt like it was not only a “job” thing. It was a question of what I wanted to do with my life. 

Honestly, this was one of the hardest times in my life. I was devastated and burnt out. Depressed. Scared. Overwhelmed. It felt like a life crisis.

I started reading self-help books and articles on how to find out what one wants in life. I tried many of the excercises mentioned in those articles. And I went to see a therapist regularly (please get help if you are in need!).

For a long time it felt like I was going nowhere.

But actually deep down I knew I wanted to do something creative, probably something that involved drawing. I had big difficulties allowing myself this wish. Because –  you don’t save the world with drawing, don’t you (that is worth a discussion, I think ;-))? But it always came back to this. And, as a tiny whisper, to do it as a solo self-employment (whaaat?!?! This thought scared the pants off me. And was fascinating at the same time). And all along an inner voice was screaming at me: ‘How will you make a living with that!?’ 

Well, I just had to do something, I needed to start somewhere! So I decided to take some drawing courses. One of them took me three years to finish. I thought I needed to improve my drawing skills as I did not have much experience.

During those years of more or less constantly drawing and trying out different creative things I became more certain that this was what I wanted to do for a living in some way.

With time drawing and eventually writing / calligraphy had become a part of my life and it was now easier for me to allow myself that wish and also – with tiny, tiny steps – making it a reality. 

During those years of figuring out I also did what seemed like a detour and became a yoga teacher! Eventhough this has nothing to do with drawing: By going through the teaching programme and giving yoga classes myself I learnt so much. About myself personally and it also was the perfect way to familiarise myself with part-time self-employment. Today I don’t work as a yoga teacher anymore but those two things I cannot underestimate.

To complete the change I dared (and that was not easy as well) to apply for and eventually take on a part-time job which was (and still is today) interesting and fun while at the same time leaving me space and energy to move on in the process of building up my own creative business on the side.

With all that said I can tell you that I’m happier than ever before.Daring to go on that journey to figure out what I really want to do and how I want to live my life was and is so rewarding. I feel so much more connected with myself. And the life I’m living now feels much more harmonious because it’s more aligned with what is important to me. It is so empowering!

Living our dreams – this is what I wish for all of us. Living a life that is truly aligned with our values. This may sound cheesy but I honestly think it’s a beautiful thing. 

However it is not always easy. We have goals and dreams and desires of which some may seem hard to reach. Staying on track can be a challenge! 

We might have the feeling of being stuck. That something needs to change but we don’t know what.

And sometimes we don’t have capacities to even think about what our goals and desires could be because everyday life is so demanding. 

This is why I chose „Go Your Own Way“ as the motto for my art.

The intention of my pieces is to be an anchor in everyday life. Piercing through the hustle every time you look at them.

Opening up a room allowing you to ponder on what your dream life could look like. Even if it’s just for a minute. Inspiring you and making you curious.  

Reminding you on your goals, desires and values. On what is important to you in life. Encouraging you to do the very next tiny step towards your dream. All of that in a very friendly and supportive way.

This is what I want my pieces to do for you.

I hope they will be a companion on your journey on creating the life you wish for yourself.

All the best and big cheers to you!


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