I don’t have time!

You feel stuck but don’t know why? You have the urge to change something, anything, but don’t know what? Your everyday life is so full with obligations that you don’t even have time to think about what it is that you could wish for in life? You have no capacities left at all? I get you. I totally do.

You are tired. You are exhausted. Frustrated, maybe (let me say it again: Please get (professional) help if you are in need!). Your immediate wish is to sink into your couch and watch Netflix for, let’s say, at least the next four weeks? With food delivery, please. I’ve been there, too (read about my story here). And it felt horrible.

How to change something if there are no time and capacities left to reflect and evaluate?

Well, this blog post could be very short – I’m afraid I only know one solution:

“You have time for what you make time for”

Ah, right in the face, no? A fellow student once said this to me.

She wasn’t even talking about me when saying that but nevertheless I immediately felt such a high resistance. It just wasn’t true! I wanted to contradict her and even felt offended. I was myself surprised by my strong reaction.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Could it really be true? I was not convinced. It just wasn’t that easy! This saying meant that I alone am responsible for how I spend my time – and not the “circumstances”. No wonder I was offended. 

After a while my inner “no” slowly changed into a “maybe, but …!”. And after years of pondering on this quote I’m convinced it is true! 

And yes, some things feel like obligations and like we don’t have a choice. Like working and earning money. Maybe there are family commitments. And we meet those obligations, of course we do! Because these things are important and other people rely on us.

However, if these obligations leave you unhappy or you miss something in your life, maybe it is time for a change? And I don’t mean leaving everything behind. But finding little tweaks and twists to make things easier and more enjoyable. Changing and shifting routines.

If we can’t change the obligations themselves or don’t know how it can also be an idea to change something else in our day to get some ease. For example going to bed earlier and/or read an interesting book before sleeping. Or getting some kind of household help.

There are a lot of things where we do have the choice. An almost classic example is watching Netflix in the evening. You could also read a book on personal development, do some stretching or take these two hours and find out what your dreams in life are instead.

Yes, one could do all of that. But honestly – if those two hours of watching Netflix are what relaxes you and brings you joy – go for it! Please don’t torture yourself.

Again, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. There is a lot of space in between!

So maybe you can carve out some minutes during your day to think about what it is that you miss in life? What your dream life would look like? And if you have no clue what the answer could be you could start with: What would you need to make your life just a tiny bit easier or more enjoyable? What would you like stop doing or doing less of?

Thinking about these questions could look like ten (or five) minutes before you go to bed. While you brush your teeth. Maybe instead of scrolling the socials again. You can write everything down or just think about it. Take these questions with you into your everyday life, walk with them for a while. You don’t have to know the answers right away. If you do, great! You can then start thinking about how you could bring those dreams into your life bit by bit.

But don’t worry, even if you don’t have the answers you can be sure that pondering on these questions, opening that door just a tiny bit is already so revealing! And just for the sake of musing don’t let the thought of “that is not possible” come into your way. It’s just your thoughts, they don’t have to be “realistic” or be turned into reality by tomorrow.

If it is important to you you’ll probably find a way to make time to think about the question that bothers you. And even more probably you won’t stop thinking about it once you got hooked.

“You have time for what you make time for.” This quote is with me ever since and reminds me on what is important to me.   

Can you relate?

What are your challenges in going your own way in life?

Let me know in the comments or write me an e-mail (hello@annikaruhwedel.com) and let’s ponder on things together!

Big cheers

Annika