Happy New Year! Resolutions, anyone?

We’re in between the years and Christmas is over. I hope you could enjoy the holidays so far! And hopefully spend them the way you like it. Because they can be quite stressfull, no? New Year’s Eve is not far away. “In between the years”. A term that sounds magical! It’s like a pause between those two big holidays with them many idealised expectations. A time to rest and to reconnect with oneself.

As a kid “in between the years” felt super mysterious, like a time out of time and space. Like supernatural things could happen. And it still does somehow! A feeling I like to maintain.

And even if no supernatural things happen (at least as far as I know but who can tell for sure?) I like to make space and think about what happened in the current year (read the 2023 review here) and what I wish or plan for the new year coming. I write all of this in a letter to myself.

It would probably help to open that letter every once in a while during the year to see if I’m still on track. But usually after writing it the next time I open it is next Christmas when the new letter is waiting to be written 🙂

So you can easily imagine that some of the wishes and plans stay exactly this. Wishes and plans. When opening and reading last year’s letters I often recognise that some of the things turned out not to be that important to me (like wearing more makeup to look more fashionable).

But some things I indeed worked on. Like setting up and open an online shop. Practising telling my opinion and sticking to it eventhough being afraid of rejection (an ongoing process). And for those things I didn’t need a reminder. They were that important to me that they were on my mind anyway.

The “should” approach

I also tried the classic New Year’s resolutions (sometimes written down, sometimes not). Eating no sweets at all. Eating “less” sweets. Eating only one sweet a day. Work out every day. Going for a walk every day. Yeah. Again you can easily imagine that none, and I mean none of those lasted. At the time those resolutions felt like a “should” because you should eat healthy and you should move regularly, shouldn’t you?  

I wanted to fit in the frame of what I thought I should look like. Thinner. More athletic. There was no fun involved at all. But a lot of anxiety and insecurity.

Over time I found a routine for eating sweets and moving regularly that is doable. I see and experience the benefits without overwhelming and forcing myself. This process from going brute force against myself and inevitably fail to finding a routine that fits comfortably took several years.

The “fun” approach

Last year I tried another approach: Why not make a fun resolution? Shop more clothes. Sounds interesting, doesn’t it? Well, I don’t shop that much so I thought it could be fun. As a result I went shopping three times. For special occasions like a wedding and functional wear like a new rain jacket. That is pretty much it. Oh, and new thermal socks. Useful purchases, but not really how I had imagined it to be (I dreamt of x new elegant blouses).

For a moment it felt like failing. Can’t I even stick to fun things? So I obviously have a problem with fun or – and (hopefully) this is more likely the case – I just wasn’t convinced by that resolution. Or not ready yet. Why buying something I don’t need? Where the definitions of “need” can differ, right? As I tend to wear things until they fall apart it sometimes wouldn’t harm to buy a new piece.

But I’m not willing to let the “fun” approach down. Why not doing more of what is fun? Maybe not spending money like crazy but what about listening more to music you really like? Or reading a nice novel just to enjoy a good story? Crafting something. Whatever it is. I think we all could need more of it. 

So what’s the secret?

Honestly I don’t know. But looking back on personal experience it feels like New Year’s resolutions (aka “change”) should be something I am deeply and honestly convinced about. Something that is really important to me. So that I don’t have to rely on sheer willpower and having to force myself doing it (which won’t last anyway).

If there is a feeling of resistance it could help to take a closer look. Are there any thoughts of fear? Is the price too high? Is there an underlying reason why I actually don’t want to do it? Am I really ready? Thinking about changing is the first step of the change.

And then trying out different approaches. Taking baby steps. Making it as easy as possible. Going back and forth. Being kind if more than one try is needed 🙂 Maybe it is more of a process than a one-and-done thing anyway.

Tell me! Do you set yourself New Year’s resolutions? Do you have a special routine about it? And how does it work? If you like feel free to share in the comments below or write an e-mail to hello@annikaruhwedel.com.

Resolutions or not – have a blessed new year and don’t forget to raise the glass to yourself, too!

Big cheers

Annika