From zombie to human – how my mornings have changed

Something I never thought possible happened: I get up in the morning and feel like myself. So simple and yet unbelievable. Getting up is something I have struggled with since my childhood. It always felt very hard no matter the time. It would take several alarms and snoozing for at least half an hour before I would get up. I then would be tired as hell and feel more like a zombie than a human being. Not to mention my mood – let’s call it grumpy. 

Read how something I considered as impossible changed so that now I do enjoy my mornings much more. 

What normal mornings felt like

The overall feeling I had in the mornings could be described as uselessness. Getting up, going to work at my day job, working on my online shop – it all felt useless. Like it wouldn’t make any difference, no one would be interested anyway. I had big drama going on in my head. Feelings of melancholia and self-pity were dragging me down (read more about it here). It really was no pleasure. And weekend mornings were not much of a difference.

Luckily as the day progressed these down-dragging feelings would fade. But experiencing this kind of drama each and every day was exhausting. And knowing I would be in a bad mood the next morning would make it even worse. 

I have tried to get up with the first alarm so many times. It never worked. A daylight alarm clock helped to a certain degree but the bad mood remained. 

So I thought I just had to accept things as they are. Maybe I just wasn’t one of those people who get up embracing the day. But deep down I was desperate for change. The question was how?

To be honest I don’t know what exactly it was that made the difference. I think several things came together. 

Curing chronic headache

Because of chronic headache especially in the mornings and evenings I went to see a physiotherapist and health coach the last two  years. With his help I was able to improve my sleep quality tremendously (hello lucid dreaming and good-bye nightmares) and could also solve a stress-inducing issue. These two things alone are worth their weight in gold. Even better they resulted in less headache 🙂

Being aware of my default emotion

Another game changer for sure was dealing with my default emotion (again, read more about it here). Finding out and accepting that my go-to emotion was self-pity disguised as melancholia (again especially in the morning) made such a difference. No longer felt I helplessly exposed to that depressing feeling. Now I knew that this was simply my standard emotion which if I wanted to I could change. Most of the mornings after honestly checking in I found that feeling sad and frustrated was neither necessary nor appropriate. I reminded myself that this was just my go-to emotion and tried to direct my thoughts in a more neutral direction. Sometimes it worked other times it didn’t.

It took a while –  some months – until I lately realised that there is no more drama in my head. 

That instant feeling of deep frustration when the alarm rings is gone. I just get up. Am I still tired? Yes. But the grumpiness is gone. I feel tired but – normal. Like myself. More at peace. And also more awake! It really is incredible and a huge improvement in quality of living. I still can’t believe it. 

Shifting my morning routine

What probably also contributed to this is a shift in my morning routine. After getting up I work at my art pieces and online shop straight away for one hour. This way I don’t have time to get lost in negative thoughts because my focus is somewhere else. 

This also led to another change. Usually I listened to my favourite personal development podcasts in the morning. Though I love and appreciate them in the last months I noticed that I would often feel frustrated or even anxious after listening. Thoughts of not doing good enough with my online shop creeped in. Even though I wanted to, I somehow couldn’t stop listening. It was like a weird feeling of  FOMO, addictive even. Now as I work for one hour in the morning I don’t listen to podcasts anymore to keep the focus.  

That way I feel much lighter. I get up, work on my shop then head off to my day job. No drama, no dithering, just doing things in my normal – neutral – energy. I also enjoy the weekend mornings more!

It’s been more than 20 years of getting up frustrated and grumpy each morning. Honestly I never thought this could change. But it has! Many small and big shifts and changes added to this result I think. 

I’m telling you this because I find it so stunning myself and to let you know that changes are possible – even if you might think they’re not. They are. And maybe you’re already halfway there without even recognising. Small things add up and can lead to an outcome you don’t even expect 🙂

Let’s keep going. 

Biggest cheers to you,

Annika

PS: If mornings are a thing for you check out the fine art print “Morgen – Morning” in the online shop!