Catch-up on „How my default mode kept me stuck“

In the last blog post I was sharing how my default mode kept me stuck. And I want to share what happened since then!

It was relieving to recognise that my default emotion was the melancholia I struggled with almost each morning. There was absolutely no reason to feel melancholic but those downdragging thoughts popped up again and again. Being aware of this as my go-to emotion made it feel more like a bad habit and less of a fate which I couldn’t do something about (habits can be changed!). That alone was already remarkable. 

But discovering that this melancholia was nothing else than well-disguised self-pity was just mind-blowing! First I was embarrassed but now I’m quite happy. Finding out I was spending so much time in this truly needless emotion and thinking of all the energy I had to bring up every day to overcome my drama loving self-pity mode was so absurd! What a waste! 

I’m so glad to know this now. Because everytime those self–pity thoughts creep in  – and they still do regularly –  I am aware about it and can remind myself that these thoughts are neither helpful nor appropriate. They really aren’t. And I fully believe myself telling me that. This was not the case when these kind of thoughts still had the “melancholia” label onto them.  

Getting out of this downward spiral of heavy thoughts and switching the focus back to what I planned to do is so much easier now. Thoughts like “Nobody is interested” or “This won’t lead anywhere anyway” occur already much less now. And if they do it’s so much easier to get back on track.

Not only do I save time by not dwelling in melancholia / self-pity. I feel much more energised! I’m not so much second-guessing if I should really write this blog post or continue that drawing anymore. If so, the answer is a clear “Yes!” and off we go. It’s fantastic! 

Also I am less tired. I don’t feel that drained mentally anymore. There really is a difference. And the crazy thing is I struggle less with getting up. Who would have ever thought this! Yes, I still need my time in the morning and snoozing is still a thing. But I’m less grumpy! It’s unbelievable!

Those things I thought were carved in stone changed. I still feel like myself – just lighter. 

And yes, I think it is mainly because I got aware of my default emotion – and changed it.

I am not yet as determined as I would like to be when it comes to achieving my goals. But a lot of drama and negative self-talk is gone now. I feel more neutral or at peace you could say. With what my goals are (e. g. building up this business) and how I pursue them. A lot of determination is already there. And now I have made space for it to grow without having to fight internally all the time.

This is such a huge step forward.

Examining and questioning my usual way of thinking and feeling has increased my quality of living tremendously.

Do you have a go-to emotion? Is it serving you or is it maybe time to shift to a more helpful approach?  

Let me know in the comments or write me an e-mail (hello@annikaruhwedel.com) and let’s ponder on things together!

Cheers to every step of your way!

Annika